New Blonde Jokes

Added on February 2nd     Submitted by: SashafromRussia

The California Highway Patrol Officer pulls over to the shoulder behind the blonde driver in obvious distress. What isn't obvious is why her two blonde passengers are lifting their tops and baring their breasts to passing motorists who respond by slowing down, honking their horns and yelling encouragement out the windows, creating a traffic nightmare on one of Los Angeles's busiest freeways.

"What the hell is going on here?" the officer demands.

"Well, duh, I've got a flat tire," the blonde responds.

Sputtering, the officer gestures at her passengers. "No, no...I mean what are they doing?"

"Well, duh." the blonde driver explains like its the most obvious thing in the world. "They are my emergency flashers."

Added on January 27th

Did you hear about the blonde that almost caused a wreck?

The spare tire in her trunk blew out.

Added on January 27th

There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't then the rope would break and everyone would die.

No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, "I'll get off."

After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would get off, all of the blondes started clapping.

Added on January 27th

Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde says, "Look at that dog with one eye!"

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, "Where?"

Added on January 23rd     Submitted by: SashafromRussia

A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She dialed 911 and the dispatcher promised to send the police to take a report. When the 911 operator broadcast the call, a K-9 unit in the area offered to respond. As the sun glassed K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out onto the porch.

The sight of the officer and his dog made her shudder. She put her face in her hands as she sat down on the steps and began crying.

"Are you okay, ma'am?" asked the officer.

The blonde shook her head no. "This is the worst day of my life. I come home to find all my possessions stolen, and when I call for help what do I get?"

"A blind policeman!"

Added on January 10th

Q: How do you get a blonde woman on a roof?

A: Tell her the drinks are on the house.

Added on December 21st

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who had two chances to get pregnant?

A: She blew them both.

Added on December 21st

The young blonde bride made her first appointment with a gynecologist and told him that she and her husband wished to start a family.

"We've been trying for months now, doctor, and I don't seem to be able to get pregnant," she confessed miserably.

"I'm sure we´ll solve your problem," the doctor reassured her.

"If you'll just take off your clothes and get up on the examining table."

"Well, all right, doctor," agreed the young woman, blushing, "but I'd rather have my husband's baby.

Added on December 20th

Did you hear about the blonde who got a pair of water skis?

She's still looking for a lake with a slope!!

Added on December 15th

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has a vibrator?

A: By the chipped tooth.