New Lawyer Riddles

Added on March 4th

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Added on December 28th

Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a couple of tracks. After close examination, the first lawyer declared them to be deer tracks. The second lawyer disagreed, insisting they must be elk tracks.

They were still arguing when the train hit them.

Added on November 29th

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

A: His lips are moving.

Added on November 28th

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

A: Professional courtesy.

Added on October 29th

Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer.

Added on May 7th

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a sperm cell?

A: I don't know. But I'll tell you what's the same. They both have a million to one chance of becoming a human being.

Added on December 14th

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

A: To practice.

Added on September 29th

Q: Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep instead of just six?

A: Because deep down they really are good people.

Added on August 17th

Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?

A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers

Added on August 15th

A Dublin lawyer died in poverty, and many people donated to a fund for his funeral.

The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling. 'Only a shilling?' said the Justice, 'Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go and bury twenty more of them.'