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Top 5 Best Dirty Jokes

Here are the current Top 5 Best Dirty Jokes based on YOUR votes.
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Current Rating: 3.67

She married and had 13 children. Her husband died.

She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died.

But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children.

She finally died after having 25 children.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, 'Lord, they're finally together.'

One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, 'Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?'

The friend replied, 'I think he means her legs.'

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Current Rating: 3.57

In the middle of the harvesting, one of the farmhands had to obey the call of nature. He went to the edge of the field and started peeing. Most unfortunately, he was stung by a bee right on the "tip."

The pain was unbearable, but he knew a piece of good advice. He went to the farmers house and put his penis in buttermilk. At that moment the farmers daughter came in. With her face red, she stood perfectly still looking at him.

"Have you never seen one of these before?" the farmhand asked.

To which the girl replied, "Yes, but this is the first time I see one being reloaded!

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Current Rating: 3.5

A 75-year-old man went to his favorite bar and met a woman with whom he hit if off real well. They went to her place and had sex. The old man tried and tried, but he could not achieve orgasm.

A few days later, he noticed a drip at the end of his penis, so he went to see the doctor about this oddity. The doctor asked him if he had sex recently to which the old man said that he had.

"Do you remember who the woman was and where she lived?" the doctor asked.

"Sure do," replied the old man.

"Then you better get over there right away," said the doctor. "You're about to come."

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Current Rating: 3.5

How can you tell if you're making love to a teacher,a nurse or an airline stewardess?

A teacher says we got to do this over and over again til we get it right.

A nurse says hold still this won't hurt a bit.

And a airline stewardess says put this over your mouth and nose and breathe normally.

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Current Rating: 3.49

A man walks into this whore house to get a woman but doesn't know what he wants. The woman at the counter tells the man to go outside to where this fence is and in this fence are some holes. She instructs him to stick his dick into each of the holes and then to make a choice.

He sticks his dick into the first hole and he gets his dick sucked. He sticks his dick into the second hole and he gets jerked off. He sticks his dick into the third hole and he feels it slip into some chicks pussy. After he finishes he walks back inside to the woman at the counter. She asks him what woman he wants.

The man says, "Forget the women. I want 30 yards of that fence."

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