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Funny Golf Jokes

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Golf Instruction

A husband and wife love to play golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first, After the pro sees his swing, he says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way to hard!"

"Well, what should I do?", asks the man.

"Hold the club gently." the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wifes breast."

Taking the advice, he takes a swing, and POW! He hits the ball 250 yards straight up the fairway. The man goes back to his wife with the good news, and the wife can't wait for her lesson. The next day the wife goes for her lesson. The pro watches her swing and says, "No, no, no, your gripping the way to hard."

"What can I do?" asks the wife.

"Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husbands penis."

The wife listens carefully to the pro's advice. takes a swing, and THUMP. The ball goes straight down the fairway about 15 feet.

"That was great," the pro say. "Now take the club out of your mouth..."